i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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