hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
