How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
