My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
