party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
