i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
