I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
All the doctor said was why
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
