I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
