where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
