I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
