I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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