I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
