My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
