Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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