Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
