Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
