is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize