A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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