I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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