Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
