elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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