PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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