Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
