If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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