It was confusing and full of hummus
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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