He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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