Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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