if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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