is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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