you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
