Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
