You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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