I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
