Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
