I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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