we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize