I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i believe in u and ur pee
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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