Only a mothe r could love this liver
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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