The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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