I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
