I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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