On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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