The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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