you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
