Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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