Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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