tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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