Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize