we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
