When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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