I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
