man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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