you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
