getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
porn star boner night. come get it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
