I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
