You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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