he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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