I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
