i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
