I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
