My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
