My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
