yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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