doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
