i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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