In the future we'll all be gay
grandma shit on top of the toilet
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
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