Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
