somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
