I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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